I spend way too much time making plans for my future. Much of my finite existence is spent storing up for something better for myself in the future. And in all of that time, I think I let a lot of precious moments pass by.
For some reason, I have recently felt existence – both my own and that of everyone and everything around me – from a much less linear perspective of time. Yes, there is the past, which is out of my control. There is the near future, which I spend most of my waking hours trying to control. But there is also the vast amount of the infinite future which I cannot control. My own death is inevitable, and in the grand scheme of things, even the most meaningful life will have minute significance in comparison to eternity.
So why waste time worrying about the little things? Surely, this is no excuse to abandon all care for things that are important. But right now, at least for a short time before I throw myself back into the mundane routine, I recognize that I should not let the relatively insignificant need to control my immediate future define me. When I think, “Who am I?” I shouldn’t worry about petty things like “I go to CSU,” or “I’m trying to get into a career in music and/or technology.” I’d much rather recognize the really important things for what they are, and be defined by those things:
- How have I loved the people around me?
- How have I served and sacrificed to benefit others?
- How much of my short existence was I truly aware of these important things, and how much time did I waste on the mundane and irrelevant?