Watching the chaos unfold as an unwitting public awoke to many popular websites going on strike in protest of SOPA and PROTECT IP just made my day. Searching for tweets containing both the words “fuck” and “Wikipedia” was hilarious at first. I opened @whatthefuckwiki to curate the most hilarious results. But as the hours and hours of self-entitled teenage venting went on, my usually oh-so-optimistic faith in humanity started to wear thin.

What follows is an overview of the kind of reactions that sped through Twitter all day.

The initial shock was catastrophic:

whoa the fuck Wikipedia ain’t working WHOAAA

January 18, 2012 2:01 am via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@Tucks_Winning

♚Tuck

aight… which one of you did it? who fucking did it? who the FUCK turned off wikipedia??

January 17, 2012 11:23 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@JayohOWA

Jordan Class

pardon, why the fuck isn’t wikipedia working when i need it for fuck sakes bullshit

January 18, 2012 4:31 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@JessicaByreiter

Jessica Byreiter

FUCK MY LIFE. FUCK MY LIFE. GUYS, NO WAY. DUDE, WIKIPEDIA DIED. HOW AM I GONNA. FML. guys, im gonna fial my frnech project.

January 17, 2012 10:29 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@mimi_1997

Carol Porter Malik(;

No wikipedia is already killing me, trying to do my daily research FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!

January 17, 2012 11:23 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@cmykcolours

Mark Elzey Jr

OMG WHAT THE FUCK OMGOSH ARGGGGGGH THERES NO WIKIPEDIA I THOUGHT YOU MAN WHEERE JOKING #WTF

January 18, 2012 11:25 am via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@CraayZee

ZoZoZeZa B)

Wikipedia just disrespected the fuck out of me.

January 18, 2012 7:49 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@MEEJIIAA

Carlos Manuel

Some got specific with their calls for redress.

Shut up wikipedia I want free knowledge right now! Trying to fuck

January 17, 2012 11:03 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@IceBrosKillZs

Garnet W Bogoslowski

IM TRYNA FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK NUTELLA IS AND WIKIPEDIA DIRECTIN TO JESSE MOTHAFUCKIN JACKSON

January 17, 2012 11:00 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@TheREALmrPaTRoN

Dr. Ralphael Robuckz

How the fuck am I going to find out what ‘vaginal mesh’ is now that Wikipedia is blacked the fuck out?

January 17, 2012 11:19 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@GangstaBitchhh

Carolina

so i can’t go on Wikipedia to research what the fuck kind of creepy swamp rodents are mating in my backyard? FUCK.

January 17, 2012 11:25 pm via Tweetbot for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@knittingninja00

cynthiazepam

Okay, So Wikipedia Blacked Out There Site Too ! Fuck, Im Trying To See If I Can Get My Handgun License ! -_-

January 18, 2012 8:52 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@taylor_whitley

Jordan White

Fuck. Without Wikipedia, I can’t check the plot of this movie I’m watching where this dude’s smashing this retarded chick. Goddamn you.

January 17, 2012 11:55 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@LSE7ENZ

L7Z [Phresh Heir ♚]

COME THE FUCK ON WIKIPEDIA I CAN ONLY MEMORIZE THESE SUBTLE EDITS ABOUT CAPTAIN KIRK’S DEMONSTRABLE SUPERIORITY FOR SO GODDAMN LONG

January 18, 2012 4:55 pm via Twitter for AndroidReplyRetweetFavorite

@SaveRussianJews

ROLLERBLADIN G TIPS

High School students with tests and homework weren’t the only ones to complain, though. Professional journalists and other office-dwellers resigned themselves to their Wiki-free fates:

Out of office: Wikipedia is closed. I have no answers. Fuck off.

January 17, 2012 11:12 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@jessjodi

Jessica Cheung

fuck I was just going to use wikipedia to look up information about General Petreaus wife, fuck fuck fuck

January 18, 2012 2:16 pm via TweetDeckReplyRetweetFavorite

@MikeElk

Mike Elk

FUCK I actually need Wikipedia now! There’s a category “Christian Radio stations in Australia” that would be perfect right now! #internbitch

January 18, 2012 5:52 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@reesieboi

Reese Williams

FUCK YEAH WRITING A COLUMN WITHOUT WIKIPEDIA IS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I’LL EVER HAVE TO DO BESIDES THE CRYPTIC CROSSWORD AND CHILDBIRTH!

January 18, 2012 6:31 pm via EchofonReplyRetweetFavorite

@nadinevoncohen

Nadine von Cohen

Blame went all around.

Some didn’t care about the issues and just needed their Wikipedia fix:

Fuck you Wikipedia! -___- you’re setting all us last minute students up for failure :/

January 17, 2012 11:34 pm via Twitter for AndroidReplyRetweetFavorite

@daninoheart

Dannnnnnni, cc;

#wikipedia used to be my nigga, but fuck him

January 18, 2012 3:13 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@teebixtches

Tiara Rosa-Lyn Oki

Some became aware of the issue thanks to Wikipedia, and voiced their new opposition to SOPA & PIPA:

WIKIPEDIA IS DOWN! Go to the site, contact your representatives and tell them how you feel. FUCK THE GOV’T! LET THEM TRY TO CENSOR ME. #FUCK

January 17, 2012 11:04 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@TomGetsFD

Tom Cwikla

Could live with the government pretty much saying fuck the constitution…until they messed with Wikipedia.

January 18, 2012 5:56 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@502alcorn

Brandon Alcorn

Fuck you mean Wikipedia is blacked out for all of wensday? The fuck we in Egypt or something?

January 18, 2012 1:55 am via Twitter for AndroidReplyRetweetFavorite

@Pharaohs_Son

Ron Mexico

WHAT THE FUCK #WIKIPEDIABLACKOUT I DIDN’T JOIN THE MILITARY SO CONGRESS COULD RAPE OUR RIGHTS AND OUR WIKIPEDIA =(…FUCK!

January 18, 2012 4:55 am via Tweet ButtonReplyRetweetFavorite

@Hayden_Bouren

Hayden Bouren

If the government shuts down Wikipedia and Tumblr, I will literally fuck the American government’s shit up…

January 18, 2012 1:56 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@ManiStaySmileyy

Imani

Many thought the government actually blocked Wikipedia, or came up with other ideas out of thin air:

what the fuck your going to have to pay for google, and wikipedia wtf thats why google has a black thing on

January 18, 2012 2:32 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@angie_single

Angie Benitez

So I did some research (difficult as fuck with no wikipedia) and apparently SOPA’s got something to do with the creator of Limewire…

January 18, 2012 3:26 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@JordanHURose

~Da Kurlzz~

The government wants to charge to use Wikipedia FUCK THEM!!!!!

January 18, 2012 4:08 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@DREW_S95

Drew Sanchez

So Obama woke up this morning and went to his computer and said “yeah what the fuck let’s shut down wikipedia” and it just happened.

January 18, 2012 7:40 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@Ze0nite

Golden Churro

Surgeon General C.Everett Koop helped shut down Wikipedia. Fuck Obama care.

January 18, 2012 7:43 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@MikeNRoush

Mike Roush

U.S. Congress go fuck yourselves. I just got blacked out of Wikipedia. Figure out your debt problems other ways. See military.

January 18, 2012 9:56 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@FlyQtheAnchor

Adam Lacoursiere

But, more than anything, this blackout shows just how lazy and unafraid of blatant plagiarism (or even cheating) many students are.

Take fucking facebook down for fuck sakes. Not fucking wikipedia. It helped me graduate highschool by plagiarizing lol.

January 18, 2012 6:50 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@Diisasterrr

Kakari Adade

fuck .. how do you do homework without #wikipedia

January 18, 2012 1:38 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@DJbluemonkeh

isaac mills

Why the fuck has the us blocked wikipedia when I needed it to copy and paste me work for college >:| they have no consideration

January 18, 2012 1:50 pm via Twitter for BlackBerry®ReplyRetweetFavorite

@Dale_Dino_Byrne

Dale Byrne

FUCK OF WIKIPEDIA YE FUCKIN DIKED U BEST GET BAK ON NOW AM TRYNA PASS ME MASTAS DEGREE HERE YANO FUCKIN DIKED. #WIKIPEDIA

January 18, 2012 2:20 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@ScouserFTM

Scouser FTM

Fuck, I have to write an essay tomorrow and I was gonna rely solely on Wikipedia. #PickingTheWorstTimeToProtest

January 17, 2012 10:54 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@ChrisMasih

The Elusive Chris

WTF WHY IS EVERYTHING BEING BLACKED OUT!!!! I HAVE A FUCKING PROJECT DUE IN 5 HOURS!!!! I NEED WIKIPEDIA!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCKKK

January 18, 2012 12:15 am via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@SratGirlStories

Sorority Girl

Is wikipedia coming back anytime soon or am I going to have to do homework by myself for the first time in my life? Ew no, fuck that shit

January 18, 2012 3:51 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@DemiGangsta

Flawless Demi

Fuck you, Wikipedia! I know what you’re trying to do, but fuck you all the same. Now I have to crack a book, like I’m Amish or something.

January 18, 2012 1:14 am via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@hellobrisvegas

Laura

I need a drink.

Here’s the MP3 file if you want it: If There Ever Was A Time

The stated purpose of one [briefing], about allegedly religious-sanctioned lying, is to “identify the elements of verbal deception in Islam and their impacts on Law Enforcement.” Not “terrorism.” Not even “Islamist extremism.” Islam.

Pretty un-American indoctrination in a federal agency whose motto is, “Fidelity, Bravery, Integrity.” Read the full article at Wired

Very strange to see the “who’s-who” list of tech – Apple, HP, Google, Nokia, Yahoo! – shaking up their leadership in the same short period.

…But then again, I’d probably rather be a fired CEO than one of the heads of state or government who either resigned or lost their posts amidst human rights outcries and widespread economic instability in 2010-11:  

You're finally getting equal treatment, but you still have to decide on a bride.

Today there was a pretty funny case of an antiquated form suddenly being a major problem: New York City’s online marriage license application was built to track a bride and groom, but since the state legalized gay marriage, it suddenly forced same-sex spouses to identify which partner was “bride” and “groom.” To the city’s credit, they managed to change the field to suit everyone with “Bride/Groom/Spouse A” and “Bride/Groom/Spouse B” in the same day, so it wasn’t so much harmful as a good example of how data should be formatted in a matter that will address all its suppliers both today and in the future.

(That said, they still have to bicker over whom is Spouse “A” and Spouse “B.”)

The city clerk’s online forms offered only the choice of “bride” and “groom.” Mr. Kaplan, 50, a vice president of the Stonewall Democrats, and his partner of six years, Anthony Cipriano, 43, were puzzled, but also amused.

“He said, ‘You’re making me the bride?’ ” Mr. Kaplan recalled. “It was confusing on many levels.”

Seeking Marriage Licenses, Gay Couples Hit Roadblock – NYTimes.com

I wonder if this policy would apply to those who ran his torture program. Or those who ran his program of extraconstitutional kidnappings. Or all the politicians that tore constitutional rights apart with the PATRIOT and FISA acts.

First is my “jan25 reports” Twitter list- Egypt’s government has essentially turned off the Internet, cell phone networks, and phone lines to most of the country, but reports are still managing to get out. This feed includes eyewitness reports and outsiders actively sharing relevant material from others.

Second  – and possibly a little lower volume and higher in significance – is Al Jazeera English’s Anger in Egypt spotlight page, updated with their newsroom’s latest.

Please let me know in the comments section if you have any recommendations for other Twitter accounts of those reporting from the protests, as I’d like to improve my own list and share it with anyone who might follow.

Update: Duncan Wane recommends The Guardian’s Live News Stream of the events.

It’s not even a fair game. It’s not that the terrorist picks an attack and we pick a defense, and we see who wins. It’s that we pick a defense, and then the terrorists look at our defense and pick an attack designed to get around it. Our security measures only work if we happen to guess the plot correctly. If we get it wrong, we’ve wasted our money. This isn’t security; it’s security theater.

Read the whole thing at The New York Times.

Republican Congressman Ron Paul has introduced the American Traveler Dignity Act to the House of Representatives. (Read his announcement of the bill here.) The legislation simply clarifies that security must not abridged:

My legislation is simple. It establishes that airport security screeners are not immune from any US law regarding physical contact with another person, making images of another person, or causing physical harm through the use of radiation-emitting machinery on another person. It means they are subject to the same laws as the rest of us.

Please call or write your Congressional representative today and ask them to cosponsor Congressman Paul’s bill.