Watching the chaos unfold as an unwitting public awoke to many popular websites going on strike in protest of SOPA and PROTECT IP just made my day. Searching for tweets containing both the words “fuck” and “Wikipedia” was hilarious at first. I opened @whatthefuckwiki to curate the most hilarious results. But as the hours and hours of self-entitled teenage venting went on, my usually oh-so-optimistic faith in humanity started to wear thin.
What follows is an overview of the kind of reactions that sped through Twitter all day.
The initial shock was catastrophic:
whoa the fuck Wikipedia ain’t working WHOAAA
— Tuck Von Strangle™ (@Tuck_DMV) January 18, 2012
pardon, why the fuck isn’t wikipedia working when i need it for fuck sakes bullshit
— Fat Jess(@JessicaByreiter) January 18, 2012
FUCK MY LIFE. FUCK MY LIFE. GUYS, NO WAY. DUDE, WIKIPEDIA DIED. HOW AM I GONNA. FML. guys, im gonna fial my frnech project.
— Frantastic Whore (; (@mimi_1997) January 18, 2012
No wikipedia is already killing me, trying to do my daily research FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!
— M△RK ELZEY(@cmykcolours) January 18, 2012
OMG WHAT THE FUCK OMGOSH ARGGGGGGH THERES NO WIKIPEDIA I THOUGHT YOU MAN WHEERE JOKING #WTF
— Zee (@CraayZee) January 18, 2012
Some got specific with their calls for redress.
Shut up wikipedia I want free knowledge right now! Trying to fuck
— Garnet W Bogoslowski (@IceBrosKillZs) January 18, 2012
IM TRYNA FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FUCK NUTELLA IS AND WIKIPEDIA DIRECTIN TO JESSE MOTHAFUCKIN JACKSON
— Dat Freaky Cap ♑ (@TheREALmrPaTRoN) January 18, 2012
How the fuck am I going to find out what ‘vaginal mesh’ is now that Wikipedia is blacked the fuck out?
— Carolina (@GangstaBitchhh) January 18, 2012
so i can’t go on Wikipedia to research what the fuck kind of creepy swamp rodents are mating in my backyard? FUCK.
— cynthiazepamOverdose (@knittingninja00) January 18, 2012
Okay, So Wikipedia Blacked Out There Site Too ! Fuck, Im Trying To See If I Can Get My Handgun License ! -_-
— Jordan White ✨ (@taylor_whitley) January 19, 2012
Fuck. Without Wikipedia, I can’t check the plot of this movie I’m watching where this dude’s smashing this retarded chick. Goddamn you.
— Bonesaw McGraw (@LSE7ENZ) January 18, 2012
COME THE FUCK ON WIKIPEDIA I CAN ONLY MEMORIZE THESE SUBTLE EDITS ABOUT CAPTAIN KIRK’S DEMONSTRABLE SUPERIORITY FOR SO GODDAMN LONG
— 1988 Canseco of Butt (@Real_Butt) January 18, 2012
High School students with tests and homework weren’t the only ones to complain, though. Professional journalists and other office-dwellers resigned themselves to their Wiki-free fates:
Out of office: Wikipedia is closed.I have no answers.Fuck off.
— Jessica Cheung (@jessjodi) January 18, 2012
fuck I was just going to use wikipedia to look up information about General Petreaus wife, fuck fuck fuck
— Mike Elk (@MikeElk) January 18, 2012
FUCK I actually need Wikipedia now! There’s a category “Christian Radio stations in Australia” that would be perfect right now! #internbitch
— Reese Williams (@reesieboi) January 19, 2012
FUCK YEAH WRITING A COLUMN WITHOUT WIKIPEDIA IS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I’LL EVER HAVE TO DO BESIDES THE CRYPTIC CROSSWORD AND CHILDBIRTH!
— Nadine von Cohen (@nadinevoncohen) January 19, 2012
Blame went all around.
Some didn’t care about the issues and just needed their Wikipedia fix:
Fuck you Wikipedia! -___- you’re setting all us last minute students up for failure :/
— Danielle Shaw (@danimurders_) January 18, 2012
#wikipedia used to be my nigga, but fuck him
— Tiara-Sacha (@teebixtches) January 18, 2012
Some became aware of the issue thanks to Wikipedia, and voiced their new opposition to SOPA & PIPA:
WIKIPEDIA IS DOWN! Go to the site, contact your representatives and tell them how you feel. FUCK THE GOV’T! LET THEM TRY TO CENSOR ME. #FUCK
— Tom Dough (@TomGetsFD) January 18, 2012
Could live with the government pretty much saying fuck the constitution…until they messed with Wikipedia.
— Brandon Alcorn (@BAbaracus_11) January 19, 2012
Fuck you mean Wikipedia is blacked out for all of wensday? The fuck we in Egypt or something?
— Nick McGee (@Pharaohs_Son) January 18, 2012
If the government shuts down Wikipedia and Tumblr, I will literally fuck the American government’s shit up…
— Imani (@ManiStayFreshh) January 18, 2012
Many thought the government actually blocked Wikipedia, or came up with other ideas out of thin air:
The government wants to charge to use Wikipedia FUCK THEM!!!!!
— Drew Sánchez (@DREW_S95) January 18, 2012
So Obama woke up this morning and went to his computer and said “yeah what the fuck let’s shut down wikipedia” and it just happened.
— U.N.K.N.O.W.N. (@Ze0nite) January 19, 2012
Surgeon General C.Everett Koop helped shut down Wikipedia. Fuck Obama care.
— Mike Roush (@MikeNRoush) January 19, 2012
U.S. Congress go fuck yourselves. I just got blacked out of Wikipedia. Figure out your debt problems other ways. See military.
— FlyQ the rapper (@FlyQtheAnchor) January 19, 2012
But, more than anything, this blackout shows just how lazy and unafraid of blatant plagiarism (or even cheating) many students are.
Take fucking facebook down for fuck sakes. Not fucking wikipedia. It helped me graduate highschool by plagiarizing lol.
— David Copperfield (@Diisasterrr) January 19, 2012
fuck .. how do you do homework without #wikipedia
— ΖΞΞK ∇ Mills (@DJbluemonkey) January 18, 2012
Why the fuck has the us blocked wikipedia when I needed it to copy and paste me work for college >:| they have no consideration
— Dale Byrne (@Dale_Dino_Byrne) January 18, 2012
FUCK OF WIKIPEDIA YE FUCKIN DIKED U BEST GET BAK ON NOW AM TRYNA PASS ME MASTAS DEGREE HERE YANO FUCKIN DIKED. #WIKIPEDIA
— Scouser FTM (@ScouserFTM) January 18, 2012
Fuck, I have to write an essay tomorrow and I was gonna rely solely on Wikipedia. #PickingTheWorstTimeToProtest
— Chris Masih (@ChrisMasih) January 18, 2012
Is wikipedia coming back anytime soon or am I going to have to do homework by myself for the first time in my life? Ew no, fuck that shit
— TWEET LIMIT † (@DemiGangsta) January 18, 2012
Fuck you, Wikipedia! I know what you’re trying to do, but fuck you all the same. Now I have to crack a book, like I’m Amish or something.
— Laura (@hellobrisvegas) January 18, 2012
I need a drink.